Once again, a month has flown by without me saying anything to you, future self. I guess nothing really happened. That's a lie.
So, let's see. Last time we talked was after Unicon, right? So, I figured out if my new crush was sleeping with my old friend. She is. Good for him, he's a lucky guy and, by the same token, she deserves better than me. I managed to get my old crush (Olga from Uni) out to a group movie outing. And then never called her again. The pattern is repeating itself, huh?
My job is moving along steadily and,  even though I'm not as enthused as in the beginning, it's still fun. I've made a friend in Pavel, and despite doing weird re-encoding shit, I feel more creatively fulfilled than with the logistical project.
My uncle came to visit and staid a couple of nights at my place. He is a fascinating man with great life experience (and a decent knack for storytelling), though I can't put a finger on if he's wise or not. And he broke my oven door- that sounds so much like something I would do (even though I wouldn't- I've been tiptoeing around that door for over a week), gives me  an odd sense of kinship.
My flat is double booked for some time (a month, I think) by the Colombian guy, and the English teacher. This makes me oddly anxious. I haven't decided if I want to move out of my room, or convince him to take the small one. I feel like I should do the former, but should I, really? It's a giant hassle, and I don't really need the money (and I'm formally fulfilling my obligation as a host, none of my friend guests ever got better.) Remind me to tell you how it ends.
Finally, I'm playing a game called depression quest it's a CYOA about having depression. Much like with depression comix it's interesting to compare and contrast with others' experiences. Like for example, I've never cut myself. On the other hand, despite a shared sense of unworthiness, most depressed people do find companionship, so that one is unique to me. An odd thing I found a description of is my inability to get up in the morning: I will wake up an hour before the alarm clock, feeling decently refreshed, and then spend the next 3 hours trying and failing to "get out of bed". It's really embarrassing, and the fact that someone else has that experience is uplifting to me.
Well, anyway, um, good bye and have fun.
XOX, past you.

Went to a corporate team building thing. Had lots of fun running in the woods with a gun. Got drunk. Shared my toilet story- that may or may not be a bad decision. I may have to switch workplaces if it was.
Also, saw my cousin yesterday- he seems to be doing very well for himself. I can not help feeling less developed by comparison.
Written on 11/08, but not published. I guess I should just dump it out.

So Unicon was moderately fun. It was way too hot, and I'm not 100% sure it was worth the money,  but compared to my usual Saturday it was fun.
There has so far been no word from Kate's tennant friend. I think I should ask Kate again if she gave her the right skype or something.
I'm also, it seems,  developing a crush.  I hate it when that happens! This time it's a young artist/writer/geek who may or may not be sleeping with my dear friend (I'm not 100% on how to ask such things). I hope I get over it soon.

So, interesting addendum.  After I failed to talk in transit, the universe (though I don't believe in such things) decided to show me how it's done (though I didn't learn anything). Some aging guy decided to tell me about an accident he witnessed.  Apparently three people died.  I didn't notice any of that. perhaps it was earlier in the day (I did clarify where, and it was nearby, so I aught to have seen it. )
In other news I seem to have earned a tidy sum last month and decided to celebrate by leaving early.  That makes me feel a little bit guilty,  offsetting the stress reducing benefits of leaving. "I am happier then when I'm miserable" and such. Stupid neurotransmitter imbalance!
On a brighter note I might be getting a for real tenant.  Some friend of Kate's.
Everything is turning up Me.

I'm a gonna try to talk to someone on the bus.  details to follow.
Did not work out. Didn't manage to get any response. Still, I'm guessing it,'s worth a few XP.  should try again tomorrow this was pathetic.
In other news, I completely missed the Israeli thing. And ignored the need to make threat assessments. One day a lot of people will die and I'll feel guilty.
Going to the local Con this weekend. could be fun. could be shirty.  we'll see.
There was something I wanted to blog about earlier this week,  but I can no longer remember what it is.  Damn my poor memory!

Oh my f-ing shit, I love chip-tunes. How did I forget that?! Listening to one as I'm writing this, so apologies if it comes off weird.

Anyway, hello again me from the future. I haven't spoken to you in, I'm guessing, 2 months. (yes, actually I can check, but I'm not going to.) I have "failed" to defend my masters right on schedule. They've taken it easier than expected. Still wish I could have told them the truth. It's my life after all- if I want to be an uneducated ass, I should have that right. I'm  getting an"employee review" at work, which usually (so they tell me) means I'll be getting more money. (my chip-tune is over, the silence makes me sad. hold this thought, I'll go get another one. right, I'm back.) Since we last spoke, I've been moved up to a better office (it's still the same open-planning shit, but I'm guessing that's never changing- our COO, pretty much the #2 in a company of 40-odd employees is seated right there in the same room- his chair is better, I'm guessing his computer is better, but his desk is just the same size)
I've met, crushed on, and got better from a girl my age- she's cool, probably too cool for me, and already dating someone, but we have really nice chats. A couple of weeks ago I might have said this could be the Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship, but now I'm not so sure. We'll see.
Another girl, young and not my type, but of interests similar to mine came in, worked for a week and was fired. Sad that- she just figured out she wanted to be a programmer. And now she can't. That being said, it sounds like she wasn't very good at learning to be one, so... I don't even know what I should feel, I've settled on "sad". Which I guess is my default.
That brings us to the next thing- I'm wring this at 3 AM (oh, look- Pi Time) in my room, while there are people downstairs having fun. I've been feeling kinda depressed all day, and I don't know why. I have realized I was too busy and or tired to feel depressed in the last month or two, and now it's back with a vengeance. I'm hoping I've just had too much human contact, but I know it's not that.
I'm out of chip-tune again, which means I've been wring this for 20 minutes now, so I'm wrapping up.

So, now I got my paycheck, paid last month's bills and am left with $50 and change, half of which I spent buying  public transit tickets (you'd think a savings of $3-4 wouldn't be important, but seeing as how it's 6-8%* of my current cash...). Next payday is in ~25 days. Being poor sucks. Maybe I can shake down D for what he owes me.

In other news, I've had a big fight with Boris and he might be moving out. I almost hope that he does- that guy is impossible to live with, at least for the shy old me. I wonder if the common denominator in all my failed tenements is me...

Addendum:Been reading my previous message. The key to a coffee-only breakfast is to drown it in milk.
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*wow, shit- it took me way too long to figure out how many percent 3 and 4 was of 50. I need a real meal. Or a real brain, can't tell.

So... I got a job. It's pretty cool.
I also got a tenant. It's Boris the Annoying. He doesn't pay much, but he also technically doesn't live there, so it supposedly balances out. Also he keeps bringing food, which is nice. Of course his food is mostly junk food (curse his overactive metabolism!), so... I give up- let's just say this is a neutral thing and get with the program. shall we?

Coffee makes me feel the full brunt of ADHD. Was it always like that? I feel like a glob darned squirrel. And now I have this weird desire for "hazelnuts". I'm not even sure which nut that is, but I want it. I guess I should cut down. Maybe only have 1 cup a day?

Oh, did I mention that BtA keeps giving me low-paid tasks (and 1 well paid task, which is why I haven't told him to go jump in a lake). I'm really behind on them, which he knows, I guess, but not why.

There's also a bit of juicy gossip about BtA, which I can't share, because I have been sworn to secrecy. Let's just say the movie Saw 3D has significance.

Oh, and my computer "got" water damaged, and now (after the first round of repairs) nothing works. I'm going to go talk to the repair guy tomorrow. Expectations low.

Addendum: I'm not sure about coffee in general, but I should most definitely never drink it on an empty stomach. It's been probably 3 hours since my second cup and I'm still not back to normal. At least the hazelnut craving has subsided.
And since I'm here anyway: Rhondo Veneziano is awesome.

If I was superstitious, I'd think the universe is trying to tell me something. (I'm of course not superstitious, and understand how selective attention works... which just means it's my subconscious that's trying to tell me something. But I digress)

Last night I was watching an episode of Castle where Alexis has a hard time telling coming back to Richard because of her pride and not wanting to disappoint him. It comes with some touching father-daughter reunion. Now today (and keep in mind I don't spend all day watching TV, this is 2 out of 5 things (episodes of various shows) I've watched over the 2 days) there was an episode of Continuum where Carlos's trust in Kiera is waning because of her lies (she's a time traveler, and can't really tell people willy-nilly), which came with a scene of her coming clean and their relationship improving.

I still want to get a job before I myself come clean, although that might jut be an excuse.

I've been meaning to write something (anything) here for a while, but didn't get the chance. Now it's the middle of the night, so I should be getting to bed, but I'm writing this. I'm screwed up that way.

So... my good friend Boris is now renting one of the rooms from me to use as an office, which he immediately filled with his junk. Not unexpected for people who want rooms, I guess, but I was caught off guard.
We went gaming with some Latvians, which was fun. I got complimented on my accent, which is oddly enjoyable (somehow I take compliments best if they are irrelevant.)

I still haven't explained to the folks about flunking out of my Master's. On one hand it's clearly my business, and mine alone. On the other I don't have any idea how to explain that have neither the will nor the ability to go through another degree, the last time was awful, and I felt incredibly cheated when to top it off I discovered the pain and toil I went through was all(most) for nothing. I keep telling myself that maybe I'll enroll next year. But I won't. No, I shouldn't- that would just split my attention, lead to stress and not result in a degree anytime in the next 2 years. I need to get a normal f-ing job and get bored of that instead. The worst thing that could happen is that I'll be hating something I get paid for, instead of wasting my time, and that of my instructors.

Mood: stressed, anxious and sleepy.

Did I mention I was in correspondence with an American indie developer called Victory Garden Games ? I am. We have failed to meet on 2 occasions due to scheduling conflicts (and the fact we live, like, 7 time zones apart), but it seems there will be an interview now. Yes, as I'm typing this, I'm waiting for my contact to get back to his desk and conduct an interview. Fingers crossed!

While we wait, dear reader, let me catch you up  on what is happening with me. I've finally mode back home (to the flat) after over a week of absence: it's an odd feeling to be "home", there's nothing specifically better here (it's dirtier, theoretically(*) more cramped and I have to pay for my own food) but it just feels nice to know it's your home.
Also, my old work finally decided to pay me some of the back wages, which is nice, but also means I'll have to come in tomorrow, since I apparently still work there. Not sure what I'm going to do if I actually get another job.
Finally, I need a flatmate (the rent/unitilties are killing me, doubly because I 'don't work') I'm thinking of putting up some unauthorized fliers at the Uni.

It's starting!

Oh, hey, forgot about you guys. It went pretty ok, I think. I really need to work on my standard responses ("name your 3 weaknesses",  "where do you see yourself in 5 years", etc.) but other than that, I think it went as well as could be expected. I actually got a video game out of it- something the interviewer (who is actually a Z-list celebrity, I know from back on the Bay12 forums, and whose works I'm a mild fan of) did for the last Ludum Dare. It's pretty good (although some elements feel under tested, which is not uncommon for games designed, coded and tested in 48 hours). Also heard about some of the upcoming projects- they are infinitely better than what I'm doing now. I'm still worried I might be underqualified, but that has 0 to do with my interviewing skills and all to do with bad life decisions, oh well...

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(*) I don't need large amounts of space, and in fact wouldn't leave my room if that wasn't required in the course of regular life.

Well, the interview was a bust. They implied I wasn't really qualified for any position they have, but they have a 4 week (free, you should be grateful, rat!) course, which can get me an underpaid apprenticeship. And that can get me a "real" job, in as little as a month (but more probably 6). I'm going to apply, actually. Mostly since it doesn't start for another month, and if I won't have prospects by them, I probably should lower my expectations in life and join (plus a free course is a free course- this rat is always eager for its rat trap)

P.S. Suburgatory seems pretty good, only seen a couple of episodes though, so the jury is still technically out.

Got through the New Year celebration, and I now have a new phone (and towel.)
Somehow miraculously I got a response to my CV, and will have an interview tomorrow (fingers crossed!) 
Still kida behind on homework, and the exams are supposed to be staring this week. I ought to work harder on this, it will be much harder next term.
It seems I actually suck at JS embedded into web pages (spent a couple of hours today making a "5 minute" script that changes the picture if you click it), this makes me doubt the qualifications I have in my CV (though I know it's not that kind of JavaScript, but I'm kinda tired of people being uninterested in that, and thinking that maybe it should be that kind.)
For some reason I seem to be making pages upon pages (or at least paragraphs upon paragraphs) of this stuff in my head while I walk or on the toilet or am otherwise occupied away from a computer, but when I finally sit down, this comes out.

P.S. the first Archer episode is coming out in 10 days, yay!